Every December, when we get closer to a new beginning, I
write my wishes and keep the note in a drawer. Besides wishes about my family’s
peace and joy; I want health; just to
keep my head sane, my hands grab things and my feet stand on the ground. I wish
for keeping the joy of living.
Last year, one month later I sent them to the
universe, I learnt that I had breast cancer. It was at the beginning with a one
cm. tumor on my left breast. I had total mastechtomy which means that they cut my
total breast . In every step of the cure, I thought that worse things could
have happened. It could have been noticed on a higher stage; I could have it in
my inner body which couldn’t be cut out and got rid of. I believed that I didn’t
have the right to complain or deplore about my disease and its results. I didn’t think I lost one of my organs; I
thought it was a useless part of my body. I could have lived without one of my breast. Still I could have seen the
colors. I could have paint boxes, trays and jars; gather the things on a canvas
and felt the joy of creating simple things that eyes like to see. And I did. I
never looked at the mirror when I lost my hair during the chemotherapy. I was
washing my face and brushing my teeth looking at the sink. I was wearing my
head band with the rule of thumb. This is a general disease of our time and I
see lots and lots of people suffering from this. So crying for yourself has no
use.
This December, again I am going to write a list of wishes with a gratitude
to God that I am still alive, safe and sound together with my family.
Every new year, I get excited like a child. I really get a ball out of the embellishments, lights , ornaments, snowmen, pine trees, greens and reds…
This time, I made an abundance wreath by gathering lots different things. I used beads; pieces of fabric and felt; real walnuts and cinnamon sticks and artificial apples, berries and tangerines.
It was fun to glue them down one by one and see how they come together like a painting.
I wish enough food, good housing with peace and joy for everyone in the World.
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